Part of coming of age as a collaborative pianist includes dealing with the regular insensitivities that get said in the profession. These quasi-insults cause us much consternation, but in the interest of politics and expediency, we must bite our tongue. So without further ado, here is a top list of 10 things that are unfortunately spoken in our presence:
1. "You should really wait for the singer to take their bow before taking yours."
2. "Some accompanists these days are calling themselves collaborative pianists. Who on earth would dream up a ridiculous name like that?"
3. "So you just do accompanying?"
4. "Who do you tour with?"
5. "Did you study accompanying in college? You mean they actually teach that shit these days?"
6. "You can find your own page turner. We do not cater to accompanists."
7. "Keep it down a bit. Singers don't like accompanists with strong personalities."
8. "Thanks for playing, bro. And by the way, my mom forgot her cheques at the cottage."
9. "I'm sorry, but we don't pay accompanists. We simply cannot put that in our budget for the concert season."
10. "Oh, yes, you played well too."
Got any other classics to share? Leave them in the comments.