When a singer doesn't show up, assign it a number. It makes it easier to roll with the punches.
Excuses
1. Health
1. Health
a) illness
b) injury
c) allergies
d) acid reflux
e) swollen cords
f) fatigue
g) sunburn
h) animal/insect bite(s) or other dermatological issues
j) hangover
k) feminine issues
l) doctor appointment
m) hospitalized
2. Public Transportation
b) injury
c) allergies
d) acid reflux
e) swollen cords
f) fatigue
g) sunburn
h) animal/insect bite(s) or other dermatological issues
j) hangover
k) feminine issues
l) doctor appointment
m) hospitalized
2. Public Transportation
a) subway
b) taxi
c) airplane
d) train/bus/streetcar
3. Automobile
b) taxi
c) airplane
d) train/bus/streetcar
3. Automobile
a) wouldn't start
b) broke down
c) flat tire
d) ran out of gas
e) locked keys in car
f) couldn't find parking
g) moving violation
h) collision
4. Weather
a) rain
b) snow
c) ice
d) excessive heat
e) fair weather/went to beach/park, etc.
5. Miscommunication
a) wrong place
b) wrong time
c) wrong day
d) wrong week/month/year
e) phone or other technological malfunction
f) double-hire/double-booking
g) oblivion
h) "didn't you get my message?"
j) miscellaneous other
6. Relative Emergency
a) family
b) friend
c) pet
d) neighbor/work colleague
7. Running Late
a) stuck in traffic
b) work ran over
c) gig ran over
d) lost
e) parking
f) at the gym
g) dressing or grooming, hair, or make-up
h) shopping/eating
8. Act of God
a) natural disaster
b) state of emergency
c) power outage
9. General Delinquency
a) "I forgot"
b) "I overslept"
c) "I was eating"
d) "I got confused"
e) "I don't care"
f) personal/relationship issues
g) peer pressure/mass hysteria
b) broke down
c) flat tire
d) ran out of gas
e) locked keys in car
f) couldn't find parking
g) moving violation
h) collision
4. Weather
a) rain
b) snow
c) ice
d) excessive heat
e) fair weather/went to beach/park, etc.
5. Miscommunication
a) wrong place
b) wrong time
c) wrong day
d) wrong week/month/year
e) phone or other technological malfunction
f) double-hire/double-booking
g) oblivion
h) "didn't you get my message?"
j) miscellaneous other
6. Relative Emergency
a) family
b) friend
c) pet
d) neighbor/work colleague
7. Running Late
a) stuck in traffic
b) work ran over
c) gig ran over
d) lost
e) parking
f) at the gym
g) dressing or grooming, hair, or make-up
h) shopping/eating
8. Act of God
a) natural disaster
b) state of emergency
c) power outage
9. General Delinquency
a) "I forgot"
b) "I overslept"
c) "I was eating"
d) "I got confused"
e) "I don't care"
f) personal/relationship issues
g) peer pressure/mass hysteria
CF: I counted 60 excuses in all. If you have any to add, leave them in the comments.
These are hilarious... I would add these minor variances
ReplyDelete1.
n) laryngitis
and also:
5.
h)
i.) I texted you!
choir sucks
DeleteBrilliant... I would just add the best one I ever heard (from Scottish singer, looking at me dead seriously), "I had to have porridge AND a bath."
ReplyDeleteI guess that would be 9h).
So sorry Valerie, the Scot was using a 7g & h 'combo' but with some nice original style.
ReplyDeleteAnd Anonymous, laryngitis falls under 1a, and "message" in 5h isn't necessarily medium-specific.
Keep up the suggestions!
Jennifer
This is absolutely hysterical. Thanks for sharing. I posted it on my office door (with a few of my own additions). Its so funny because its so true...
ReplyDelete"It was the only time I could get with the tattoo artist."
ReplyDeleteWhat about the classic "I don't need to rehearse"?
ReplyDelete