Monday, March 14, 2011

Huge Collection of #accompanisthaiku

"Accompanist" is
a dated term. I prefer
"Collab'rative pack mule."
(@geor3ge)

Oh, the life of an
accomp - er - collab'rative
pianist. My bad.
(@chrisfoley aka me)

The anthology of collaborative pianist-inspired haiku below was sent out via mailing list by Tom Diamond, taken from the popular #accompanisthaiku meme on Twitter.

When a singer falls
off pitch, off rhythm, off beat
I just play louder.

No need to turn and
Nod as if I'm the butler
I'll play when you breathe.

Paul Hindemith wrote
sonatas for everyone.
I wish he hadn't.

Critic in Row M:
I accompanied ably.
Last sentence is done.

No really, it's fine.
I'll just guess what those notes were
on the last system.

Sonatas sometimes
have spots where the piano
has the tune - not you.

Here goes the applause
but don't mind me over here
-I don't need to bow.


Did you want me to
transpose down a half step
or were you just flat?

Score is in E flat
Playing in B flat as asked
Why are you in C?

I can play softly
even with the lid way up.
It's not a loud switch.

The Franck Sonata;
so versatile, it even
works with viola.

Sure, I'll play that piece
from manuscript open score:
once the check has cleared.

Hal Leonard page turns
turned me into a fan of
IMSLP.

Why is my music
more difficult than yours is?
Damn you, soloist!

A whole orchestra
reduced for only two hands
or maybe for three

At a certain point
A reduction of "Wozzeck"
Defeats the purpose

Nobody panic
The measures you just skipped
Didn't matter much

I know my music
Do I have to teach you yours?
I'll have to charge more.

Improvise while the
Soprano makes up German?
All in a day's work

Sure, I can transpose
Your aria down a step
But it'll cost you.

You think you are
conducting the choir yourself.
The organist leads.

It may "be easy"
but give me the music now
because I'm not you

What to wear today?
Another day performing
-black, black, black, or black?

I need a favor...
Can you play Rachmaninoff?
Why are you twitching?

For those of you who need to experience a performance in order to properly engage with #accompanisthaiku, here are Dave McDonald, Patrick Gullo, and Ty Forquer performing some of these gems on YouTube:



If you have another #accompanisthaiku gem, leave it in the comments...

4 comments:

  1. You hummed a few bars
    Is that your real tempo?
    Nope! Not even close

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL and thanks, Eileen!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Did my ornament-
    ation throw you?" No, I just
    forgot you can't count.

    ReplyDelete